Sunday, July 13, 2008

Next up...

...heading out for lunch, but when I come back, it's time for NY, the Big Apple, to make an appearance on my blog!

CCU to JFK... could have been better!

It feels good to be on ground, and I don't mean it in some metaphorical way; I mean it literally and you will believe me if you have been flying for 22 hours straight, with a small break of 2 hours in the middle, i think, only to remind you that you are a human and not some alien scanning the Earth and looking for the perfect spot to attack! But frankly, Lufthansa did not impress me much.
At the Kolkata airport, the lady at the check-in counter started quizzing me as if she was an Immigration Officer... "Business or pleasure? Where will you stay? For how long?" First I thought she was just trying to be friendly, but when she asked me to show her my offer document, I thought it was very strange and beyond normal levels of inquiry at a check-in counter. Still, I was glad that my luggage was within the weight limit and hence, did not care for the FBI level investigation.
The air hostesses were cold and definitely not beautiful. Some of them looked like men, with their strong German jaws and 6 feet plus body sizes! And they had their hair done in piggy tails, which reminded me of the "always ready to fight" women of Gaul. The situation was exacerbated further in the second leg of the flight when a fat German kid had happily taken my window seat and, I guess, was looking forward to enjoying the view. However, I pointed out to him very blatantly that that was not going to happen ( I practice being aggressive everywhere nowadays ;)). Then began our cold war... the 'elbow pushing' in the common hand-rest, the deliberate 'waking the other person to go to toilet every half an hour' (that was me!)... and the rest. However, I could find no response to his master weapon, his body odor! Yuck! I had moved so away from him, the pilot could easily have mistaken me to be sitting outside the plane! Yet, I would not budge from my seat and finally tasted success when the kid moved to some other seat. Yes, he got a window seat elsewhere but this should not take anything away from my victory! Anyway, without any more incidents, the flight was finally over I was overjoyed to feel the bright sun, once again, shine on me!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Me, Myself & Cricket

Those who have been around me for some time now know very well about this deviation of mine from the average and rather common inclination to love this game amongst the nearly one billion Indians, but for those who are not aware, let me play a scene that has been very common in my life...
X: (to me) Yaar, do you know the score?
Me: Of what?
X: (surprised) Of the cricket match dude!!
Me: (inquisitively) who is playing?
X: (shocked) India and someone yaar! Don't you watch cricket?
Me: Nah, I don't like it!
X unbelievingly walks away!
Now, let me try to explain my reasons for not liking the game!
I think it is the most unfair game there can ever be and this stems primarily from the fact that at any point in time, different teams are doing different things. One is batting while the other is bowling and fielding. In games that I like, there is a sense in having both teams do the same thing at any point in time. Like in football, both the teams are running after the ball at any second; in tennis, both the players are hitting the ball... in these games, it's not like one is hitting balls at the wall while other is dancing, is it? If I try to find another game like cricket in this regard, the only game that comes to my mind is baseball, which is really just another form of cricket to me. However, since I don't know much about baseball, I will limit my thoughts to cricket only.
I can't think of any other game where the toss can change the game so drastically! Generally, the toss decides who will serve first, or which side will one choose, but even that changes after half-time or something like that. There is an attempt to nullify the effects of the toss. It's not like the person who wins the toss in tennis will ONLY serve if he chooses to, or the team who wins the toss in football will not change sides after half-time. I remember, in waterpolo, when I used to take a decision after having won a toss, I would think of where east and west was, because I did not want my guys to be staring into a setting sun while playing. But I know that it was only our magnificient Kharagpur that had an East-West facing waterpolo pool. Our coach used to say that nowhere in the world is waterpolo played in an outdoor pool, let alone an east-west facing one! The point is that winning should be dependant more on calibre and less on lady luck. In cricket, with a toss, a team can decide to bowl on a dew covered pitch which will not be there when the other team comes out to bat; a team can choose to have the other team field under the floodlights, while it fields under the sun! With a toss, sometimes, a Captain can have the match in his bag even before the first balls are bowled!
Even the Rain Gods can change the course of a match in a way unimaginable in any other game. My decision to put my thoughts regarding cricket into this blog came after such an incident yesterday. Delhi Daredevils were on a blazing start, scoring at close to 11 runs an over with 9 wickets in hand till the end of 8 overs in a crucial Twenty20 match between Delhi Daredevils and Punjab Kings XI, when the downpour started. After half an hour of rain and a lot of complicated mathematics, they were told that they now had only 3 more overs to post their final score. So, the Delhi team, which had thought that it had to conserve its wickets for 20 overs suddenly found itself with a lot of wickets to spare but too few overs left to throw the bat around, like one does towards the end of a Twenty20 match. And then it was the turn of Punjab King's XI to bat, knowing the total and also knowing very well that the bowlers of Delhi Daredevils had only 11 overs to bowl them out. Punjab Kings XI had to preserve their wickets only for 11 overs and they could really afford to throw their bats at everything right from the start. After around 7 overs, Rameez Raja was bent on comparing the scores of the 2 teams and made no qualms about announcing that Punjab Kings XI was way ahead of Delhi Daredevils. I say, how can you even compare the two scores? Delhi Daredevils' batsmen were playing thinking they had another 13 overs to go, Punjab Kings XI batsmen knew they had only some 3-4 overs left to bat. I am definitely not saying that Delhi Daredevil would have been in a better position if they knew from the very beginning that it was an 11 over match. I am only saying that I found the idea of comparing scores at any instant and declaring which team is "way ahead", absolutely meaningless. Little did I know that this absurdity would be taken to a completely different level soon! Initially, the match was still worth watching because Delhi Daredevils had posted a decent total, even for an 11 over match but then the worst happened. Rain came down once again and it washed away all hopes for Delhi Daredevils as the match was won by Punjab Kings XI based on the Duckworth Lewis system!
When the rain came down for the second time, it was the Punjab Kings XI batsmen who were the first ones to leave the ground because they knew that they had won the match if play were to stop. Even the commentators were of the opinion that the game could have continued, depending on the situation. 3 overs was all that remained between a respectful, albeit a slightly unfair end to the match and a totally pointless, disgraceful end. I was feeling sorry for the groundsmen who were not willing to bring on the covers when the umpires signalled, hoping that the umpires might just decide to continue with the game, even in that slight drizzle. The Delhi Daredevils team never left the field, ready to deliver the last few deliveries as soon as possible. The spectators who had come to see a match where they would atleast see the winning runs being scored or the last wicket being taken or the last ball being bowled, were left staring at a decision based on the Duckworth Lewis system, flashing on the screen.
Any game, I believe should be a test of the talent and not luck. Cricket, to me, is a game of some talent (no doubt) but also of fortune and externalities. The wind will always either help batsmen and impede bowlers or the other way round. Rain will always be beneficial to one team and unwelcomed by the other. Pitch conditions, atmospheric temperature, light... everything always affects the two teams differently. Then, is the result of the match truly a measure of the team's skills? In my opinion, any game should always try to minimize the effect of externalities and limit the influence it has on the result. A game of my choice should be a little less vulnerable to weather conditions. And a game which I can admire should always end on the field and never, oh never, off it, based on some mathematics that no one understands, which could put the Black Scholes equation to shame;the one they call the Duckworth Lewis System!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Countdown to Me!

Here’s a chance to know me better…


10 things I want to do before I die!

Ride a really really fast roller coaster

Own a Ferrari (a scarlet one at that)

Drive a Formula One car

Travel to so many places... read further for more on this!

Gift my parents a World Tour thingy ;-)

Learn a foreign language, and I mean learn and not bunk classes and still get a certificate (thank you Alliance Francaise)

Own a house in a meadow, close to a river with snow-capped mountains visible from the bedroom

Bungee jumping
Sky diving
Fly


9 places I would love to see!

Egypt - Pyramids, Sphynx

China - Great Wall, Forbidden City

Moscow - Red Square

Rajasthan - I've heard the Lake Palace in Udaipur is awesome! ;-)

California - Hollywood
Agra - Taj Mahal
Brazil – Christ, the Redeemer
Australia – Sydney Opera House, Sydney Harbor Bridge
Scotland – Loch Ness

8 things I am good at (and I don't mean career skills! :))
Cracking PJs
Being optimistic
Driving
Smiling

Acting dumb :-P

Jumping around and breaking stuff

Swimming

Cooking (I hope :-))

7 things which attract me to a girl :))
Long hair
Cute face
Self reliance
Intelligence
Happy-go-lucky nature
Slim body
A "never say die" attitude

6 things I just can't do!

Iron clothes

Be serious

Put a night-out

Fly (...not yet!)

Say "No" to a request

Plan things well in advance

5 of my favorite lyrics
"roke tujhko aandhiyan, ya zameen aur aasman...paayega jo lakshya hai tera" from the movie Lakshya
"Zindahi ki yahi reet hai...haar ke baad hi jeet hai, thode aansoo hain, thodi hansi...aaj ghum hai to kal hai khushi" from the movie Mr. India
I don't wanna miss a thing - Aerosmith
Nothing's gonna change my love for you - Glen Medeiros
Where is the love - Black Eyed Peas


4 things I say the most!
Waa….aaahhh
Sahi
Mujhe kya pata/Pata nahin
Dumass


3 things that pick me up
Sunlight - and mountains, cliffs, trees: for Mother Nature
Adventure
Challenges

2 most memorable trips
Eurotrip during exchange, Goa – something special!

1 person I dedicate this blog to
the King!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Monkey Shines

How many times have you heard the phrase "Stop this monkey business!" and immediately stopped whatever naughty thing you were upto? Have you ever thought how such association of mischeavous behavior with the term "monkey bunsiness" can be degrading to us monkeys? Today, let me give you an insight into what monkey business is all about and then you might realize that it is not easy to be a monkey!

We monkeys have only a few syllables that constitute our entire language. They are hu,hoo; he, hee; ku koo and khe khee. Now imagine speaking to each other with just a combinations of these 8 syllables. No wonder half our days are spent trying to say what you humans can do in 1 minute. For certain sentences, by the time we reach the 20th syllable, we have lost track of the first ten. Oh, so you want us to improve our language! Why should we? It's not that we are running out of time or we will achieve something great by finishing all our chores by mid-day. What are our chores? Oh, I'm sorry, I should have started with that. We monkeys have only one ritual, hukukuhekhee, which you guys know as social grooming (I wonder, who translates monkey's into your language for you guys?). The good thing about it is that it runs 24X7, 365 days a year. Through it, we find out who is putting which tree's lotion in their ears, whose skin is the darkest, who has the highest hair density on her back or who attracts the most exotic of the bugs around. Afterall, we do not have Matrimonials on Sundays and this is how word about the most eligible bachelor and the most wanted damsel spreads in our community.

We are happy with the way things are going for us, although it seems you humans are not so happy. God gave you humans the sharpest brains (although only a little more than ours, thank you!) and colored vision, which you used to create buildings, work culture and invent so many things. God was not totally ufair; he gave us something that you guys don't have - a tail. When we see you watching television, we look at our tails. When we see you wearing all the nice clothes, we look at our tails. You can have your buildings, your games, your cars... we have our tails! Recently, a fellow monkey in our community was awarded the King Kong Prize for inventing yet another use of our prized posession - a 'tail' joke. It goes as follows:

Q: Why are we monkeys so much better than humans at telling stories?

A: It's because we are always ready with a 'tail'!

Q: Why is the most beautiful damsel's story more popluar?

A: Because it's a fairy tail!

Q: Why is the story of Rapunzel so popular amogst the best groomers in our community?

A: Because it's a hairy tail!

Funny, aren't they? It might be tough for you to understand the true meaning of the creation. If you were unable to understand it, I will help you out - you were supposed to laugh. I know, it can be tough as you need to have an undestanding of art to appreciate such a masterpiece. I have also heard that the term "copy cats" has been catching on in your literature while it is actually we monkeys who are the true imitators in this world. There are few things left in this world that we do to spend our time and without it, we will stop having a purpose, and what is life without purpose? (Oh yes, we have watched Matrix as well). Why don't you spend some more time to try and comprehend the inner beauty of the 'tail' jokes while I devise a plan to protect our birth-right to imitate from the cats. Until then, goodbye, sayonara, au revoir, tschus, hukukoo!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

My Tryst with Objectivism

The first time I heard about it, it was from my brother - " If you think this is fat, check out Ayn Rand's books!". Then there was a long break before it resurfaced in the form of recommendations from two of my very close (and even more literary) friends. Still, the sheer size of the book managed to dissuade me from lifting it (you can't pick up an Ayn Rand, you have to lift it) till very recently. Then Mr. Greenspan joined my friends in praising the lady through his book, The Age of Turbulence, but my friends' (yes, the same literary ones') attempts to stop me from reading it later on, saying it would change me forever and they did not want me to change, served as the final nail in the coffin. As luck would have it, I found Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged in my dad's old worn out closet (that he so lovingly calls his library), and I started the process of discovering objectivism. Should I be scared? Books can't change me...or can they?
Today, a very dear friend of mine said she was confused and I volunteered to help her clear her doubts. Actaully, I know I could not have helped her much, as she is one of the most level-headed persons I have ever met, but I know she loves to talk about things like these - afterall, these are matters of Love! Now, I can't discuss the thing we actually talked about, but in the end, I gave her a suggestion which sounded very selfish to me then. Even my friend agreed that it was not a very nice thing to do (she actually used a much stronger word ;-) ) but I said that when the next 50 years of your life are at stake, it is okay to be a little selfish!
Rewind a couple of weeks - a friend of mine was very sad because his close friend's marriage had been called off, just weeks before he was supposed to tie the knot. The girl had found someone else. Back then, I don't think any of us approved of what had happened, but was there a better way out? Didn't the girl save her and the guy's future by not entering into a relationship which she knew had lost its foundation... and she had the right to ensure her happiness before the guy's, didn't she? Or did she? At such a price? But then, is there a price for happiness? Before a week had passed, I heard that both of them were actually doing much better than expected (thank God!).
Tonight, I think the girl had done the right thing. Instead of living a lie for the rest of her life, she had the courage to face the truth and come clean without the fear of society, friends and relatives. She was selfish in leaving her earlier boyfriend for someone else, weeks before their marriage , but was it wrong?
One week back, I would have said Yes; today I say No. Is this Ayn Rand's doing? Can she really influence the minds of young, educated people, even after her death? Is this the strength of books and thoughts? Am I better person now than I was a week back? Will I be more successful in life now? Just 100 pages into the book and it has my head reeling with these thoughts. But I am not the one to give up, to get scared and hide myself from radical ideas. I am a free bird, which knows where its home is, but doesn't mind migrating to places where the wind might take it. Bring it on Ms. Rand, I am ready for you!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Day That Was!

Today is April Fool's Day...a double edged sword! I don't know if you have felt it or not, but if all your attempts to make a fool of others are constantly thwarted, you tend to get the feeling that you are yourself the biggest fool around. Oh no, it wasn't me! I was speaking generally, voicing the emotions of those numerous poor souls who have been through this experience. I, on the other hand, am an expert in this art. So what if my pranks lack the creativity of a genius? Atleast my "Mom, dash dash is on fire!" got my mom to take a look at dash dash more than once. My mom got so tired of my numerous pranks today that she actually locked me outside my house. Ofcourse, later she tried to explain that she had locked the door and had gone to sleep but I, the smart one, am not so easily fooled, eh! Still, it is not the end of the day yet and I will have the last laugh. Here it comes... MuHuHahahaaa. What were you expecting - that I would pull a better prank than that? Lol! That's funny! ;-)